The Love of Justice

Employment-related troubles hardly make one special at the moment; so I'm not here to whinge (well, I am, but that's my catharthis and needn't trouble you). No, I'm here to balance out the scales a little bit. Everyone knows that the process of applying for a job is frought with the perils of intrusive forms, stupid hypothetical questions, condescending interviewers, stitch-ups, human resources jargon, recruitment consultants who think a GNVQ tops your PHD and wearing horrible clothes to enter a competition to win the right to wear more horrible clothes. In short, the process is demeaning and unfair and sometimes you're not even that sure you want the prize but that's just life, right? Get on with it and make lemonade and all that marvellous stoical stuff? No, you can just leave all that "In the Real World" crap at the door. This blog is for calling employers and recruiters of all kinds to task; it's probably the only sort of (rather pathetic) justice they're ever going to face for their hypocrisy and ignorance, so you might as well enjoy it.

Just for the record, I usually have employment of a type but can never seem to get anything permanent - you know where they might have to treat you like some sort of human being who gets sick once every five years, or would benefit from a holiday in their adult life, or who still needs to eat during the month of August. So anyway, becomming disenchanted with the overly-literal nature of my current 'zero-hours contract', I have been trying to get in early on the tried-and-tested Christmas Job route to more steady employment (or at least temporary solvency and seasonal lack of humiliation). First stop, the Post Office - oh wait, they're going to make me look like a scab and get me lynched. Fear not! Something will offer me long hours stacking boxes for minimum wage...except all such work seems to get snapped-up before I can even apply for it. All of them also highlight the (entirely immoral) lower minimum wage for workers under 18 which can't be a good sign for my 22-and-over ass. Anyway this search for thankless hard-labour led me to today's best find (in terms of entertainment) - a job post from the local John Lewis (who recently rejected my, highly irritating, online application in less than 24 hours) which raises several questions:
a) did they reject my application because they had no staff capable of reading it?
b) why would a large organisation with a tediously exacting and constant recruitment system hire an unknown for one night?
c) location of what?
d) please explain the mysterious nature of the relationship between training and experience

Enjoy:

Wage

£6.50 PER HOUR

Hours

9 A WEEK, ONE NIGHT ON 22/10, BETWEEN 10PM-7AM

Location

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Duration

Temporary

Date posted

13 October 2009

Pension details

No details held

Description

This Local Employment Partnership employer shares information about new starters with Jobcentre Plus for statistical purposes only. See www.dwp.gov.uk for more information. This vacancy is being advertised on behalf of The Best Connection who is operating as an employment business. Must have good communication skills and be numerate. Must adhere to company dress code. Must live close by due to location. Previous experience as full training will be given, Duties will include scanning the products on the shelves in supermarket. This is position is temporary for one night only.

How to apply

You can apply for this job by telephoning 02920 494700 and asking for John Lewis.